Hellohellohello!

I have had a lot of people inquire about when I will be available for this that or the other.  Since things have gotten really busy and confusing,  I figured I would get everything together for here on out and see where plans can be made :)

NOTE:  I have zero in funds.  None.  Nada.  Not even a little.  All the money I do have is already allocated for things like Harry Potter tickets, and to get me started in India until my financial aid comes in.

Today, July 3:  I am recouperating from very busy times and icky sick.  Today I *need* to do nothing.  If anyone wants to come do nothing with me, you are welcome :).

( The rest of my availability is here! )

I had a dream last night that I was in a plane crash.

I was in this incredibly huge dream-plane.  I was walking down a huge plane-corridor (think 777 with no seats, well lit, and windows about 4x the size of regular airplane windows).  It was pretty outside.  I was concerned about the pilot, I think, or maybe that was just hindsight.  I was thinking about talking to Katie.
The plane makes a really steep turn, which seems weird, since the ground is really close (my awake self says that obviously I should have been seated with my seat-back and traytable in the upright and locked position .... this didn't even occur to my dream self however). The ground is getting closer, I wonder why we are moving so strangely when we should just be landing.  It is so pretty outside.  Like a tropical island with soft sunlight.  I've stopped at this time, and I'm watching the scenery outside twist and turn in slow, large loops.  Eventually it hits me.  There is no doubt.

We are going to crash.  Oh my god we are going to crash.  This is actually happening, I am about to die, it is going to hurt, and I have to stand here and know it is coming.  

My mind shatters with awful panic.  The only thing I can think is that there isn't time to call Katie and the only thing I want to do in this world is tell her that I love her one more time.  I am thinking of her, and how much she taught me, and digging in my head for where the emergency exit is.  We are going down into water, I have to get out very fast.

And there it is.  The exit is right in front of me.  I have been standing near it this whole time.  The plane, I suppose, is down, because the next thing I know in the dream after I notice I am standing in front of the exit is that I am walking on/near a tiny island within an island, having just been the first one out of the plane.  The first thing I do is call Katie and say "I'm OKAY ... I am OKAY..." and my plan was to go from there and tell her that my plane had crashed ... but everything gets quite fuzzy.

I survive my dream plane crash,  I think, with flying colors.  

This is a very, very popular India Travel topic. I have done extensive research in order to prepare myself for such a different ... method.

Now, it IS true that in India they do not use toilet paper (you can buy toilet paper in India, but they only stock it for foreigners.  No Indian person uses it.). It is also true that you clean yourself with your left hand. Because of this, you never handle food with your left hand. You also never give a person money (payment) with your left hand. It is my understanding that, for all public purposes, your left hand essentially doesn't exist. Keep it away. It will never, ever be clean. This fact sucks for left-handed people (do they exist in India??? I wonder...) -- lucky for my I am a typical right-handed person, and hopefully will adapt easily to this.


It is NOT TRUE that you use your left hand to "wipe" your rear -- that is gross, people. You do not smear excrement from your body with your hand, you use your hand to assist in cleaning with the water available -- and then wash your hands very well after.

Interesting point: Most people in India think that the use of toilet paper is disgusting. As one poster on IndiaMike commented, "I've never understood the wiping [with toilet paper] thing.
...
It really is revolting to me to smear excrement all over my nether regions, and then pull my pants up, like I'm keeping it for a special occasion."

---Makes an interesting point when the comparison is to clean yourself with a good spray or splash of water each time you go to the bathroom.  Also an interesting mis-interpretation of the use of toiletpaper -- much like the western mis-interpretation of the use of water and left hand.


Also -- the squat toilet? Seems okay to me. Toilets are dirty enough in India, as little contact as possible is the preferable method :). I have heard horror stories about public western style toilets filled to the rim with waste. Or even with muddy footprints on either side of the seat. I do, however, hope to have a western style toilet in my dorm where I can be sure it is clean ... ... and where I will be more comfortable if/when I get sick (!).

Aahh... culture.

And I will leave you with this lovely pictoral descrtption, for those who do better with imagery.  
( How to use an Indian Squat Toilet )

So my visa packet is all together and ready to go. With every big step like this, everything feels more and more *real*.

On Monday I am heading out to get a money order and overnight the application -- along with my passport, proof of address, and an acceptance letter from the school I will be attending in Hyderabad. Wow -- a little scary to send all that in the mail!

What is really creeping up on me now is nerves. I really am going, and I really am going soon!! I only have a couple of weeks left in Denver for a good while. I have a going away party organized, and a joint Birthday/Dayl is going away party on the calendar too. There is not a lot of time left before I am on that plane headed out on the craziest thing I have ever done.

There is still a lot of little things on my to-do list. Like ordering pictures, finding Colorado quarters and buying tiny jars of peanut butter to have as gifts. I need to order a new battery for my computer, and find some books to read on the plane. I need to download some movies for my iPod and check if there is an outlet on the plane or not (I have Katie's adapter she said I could borrow).

Also, I am spending as much time as I can with Dayl, because when I get back she will be living in Seattle and getting her PharmD!

I got the roster of everyone else going with me on this trip, there is only half a dozen of us! And just one other girl, so I guess I know who my roommate will be. I have their e-mail addresses, so I think I will drop them all a line just to say hi.

Have any of you ever been abroad for such a long time before? Did you get really nervous before you went?

How is Saturday July 11th for you ?  Around 1:00?  Empress Seafood DimSum on Alameda.

My going away party :).  Come and tell me what you want from India.  Those who show will be given priority suitcase space :D XD :D.

YAY!

"You have to deal with the worst of India head-on, and it’s really raw. Be it the beggars, the touts, the poor children, or the local taxi drivers, you have to deal with all of them minutes after your arrival.

Whatever tricks and tips you have prepared yourself with are forgotten in a matter of minutes after facing this rude welcome. It’s like learning to swim by reading a book, and them jumping right into the pool. India teaches you new lessons only after you have failed the test.

And it is powerful enough to change the way you view life. The shock treatment strikes you at the very core of your being. No amount of homework can prepare you to handle this. Nevertheless, you won’t be caught totally off the guard if you have done some research."

THIS is precisely the reason I spend so much time on forums, reading books, and looking for other media that will give me some small insight into what I am getting myself into.  I would like to be a little less-than-average shocked by what I see.  I know I can't be prepared, I know it will shock me to my core regardless, but I can't go into this without some modicum of preparation.

I am about to pack up to leave the beach so we can spend the night in Portland and all catch our 6 am flights. 

I am sad to leave.  My dad wasn't kidding when he said he built his dream house here.  It's been completely cloudy the whole weekend, but it was still a joy.

Today when we got up we all went for a long walk on the beach, and I found some pretty seashells.  It was nice to walk near the surf and chat with my dad.  If you know how much my dad means to me, you know what a great time that was.

After the beach Julene made a fab breakfast, and then we headed out for a driving tour of the peninsula.  There is a lot going on here!!!!  Really cuute little town called Oysterville that faces the bay, with tiny houses and lots of flowers.  We drove up to Leadbetter which is like a great forest and wildife reserve.  I saw two beautiful tiny deer.  There is one guy who lives a little ways up from my dad who owns probably about 200 acres, almost from ocean to bay here.  He has big ornate gates.  Dad says if I look at Google Earth, I can see the GIANT ship he built next to his house as a guest house!  A ship!  With a moat!!  And he built this water tower and made it look just like a lighthouse, we could see it from the beach this morning.  Way cool.  This guy has a lot of dough.

When we got back to the house I helped dad water the flowers again and then we built a big bon fire for a weenie roast :D.  My tummy is full, the ocean is lovely, and now I have to pack to go.  I hope to come back very, very soon.

I am at my Dad's beach house in Ocean Park, Washington.  As I write this I am sitting on the balcony outside of my room, watching twilight finally fade to dark (at 9:45 pm) over the ocean.  The waves are calm and steady, and the breads are brigh white against a darkening blue.  There is one ship in the distance, I can just make out its light.  A crab boat, most likely.

I don't know how life happens so far from this place.  The ocean brings the world to life, and it is as if the entire world is right here.  I feel more alive just by being here.  The air is thick with nutrients for my soul and I feel like something is healed just by being here.  Something that  I didn't know needed healing.  I feel alive here.

Times have been lovely.  I got here last night and braved a walk to the beach in a side-ways rainmist.  I got drenched just walking on the beach and sat by the fire to get warm and dry when I got back.  It was like going out in a snow storm!!  I had no idea.  I sat on the couch with my Dad and watched TV until we both got tired.  I left the balcony door open in my bedroom to hear the ocean until bugs started to become irritating. 

This morning I woke up early to the sounds of the ocean, and that is so pleasent.  I went to "World Headquarters" (aka my dad's office with an amazing ocean view) and hooked up my computer to read e-mails etc while Dad sat at his desk and got some work done.  He commented that it was real nice to do that with me there with him.  I sat in the best armchair next to the window.

Julene made breakfast, and we headed out for the day.  We walked down Long Beach, which is an adorable old fashioned beach town complete with a merry-goround, scrapbooking/fudge/tanning store, and beach horse-back-riding.  We looked in a few of the tacky tourist shops and got great sweets at the fabulous bakery, where we also bought a fresh loaf of french bread for dinner.

From there we moved on to North Head, a really cool lighthouse nearby.  My dad told me all about the Jetties and how the help ships not to crash by softening the break of where the Columbia River meets the Pacific.  We also went to see Cape Dissapointment, and I found out why it was named that.  What happened is this British Captain (Captain Myer [sp?]), fur trader, came to find the "Great river".  He got here, and for various reasons couldn't find the river.  He couldn't get into it because of he sand bar, etcetc.  He figured there was no river, and thus deemed the whole area Bay of Deceit and Cape Dissapointment.  Turns out that there was a river, and it was just so big that it looks like a bay.

After we saw those we headed down to the harber and saw some boats, some crab boats, and a little market.  Julene bought fresh asparagus for dinner, and some really yummy kettle corn.

On the way home we stopped at Jemelli's -- a chef who is really well known (apperantly).  Cutest little fish shop and restaurant!!!  We bought the ocean.  Scallops, oysters, salmon, and clams.  Oh those clams were so good.  Everything caught today!!  We went home and Julene cooked everything perfectly and it was an amazing feast.  Oysters were the best, close second were the clams.

I helped dad put a mini-fence around one of the gardens and water the new rhododendrens (how the heck is that spelt...?).  Spent a lot of time taking pictures and staring at the ocean.  Did I say how much I love the ocean?  I might even brave the bugs and the brr to leave the doors (yes, doors) of my bacony open tonight to let the sound of the waves in.  It isn't often I get to sleep so close.

Tomorrow there is talk of a weenie roast and a morning walk down to the beach.  I am so excited.  I am so happy just to be here.

The ship that was straight ahead when I started writing is now nearly out of sight to my far right.  I guess I ought to close here.

I wish you all the same happy contentment I feel here, tonight.

I finally put my old Sailor Mars fuku on e-bay -- if you know anyone who is interested please point them in this direction!

Sailor Mars Myu Fuku!

It is listed for really cheap, because it is quite old :)

Proceeds from this sale will go directly to my student visa for India!

I finally put my old Sailor Mars fuku on e-bay -- if you know anyone who is interested please point them in this direction!

Sailor Mars Myu Fuku!

It is listed for really cheap, because it is quite old :)

Proceeds from this sale will go directly to my student visa for India!

Horray!!  I officially have everything I need for India.  Thanks Mom!!

I got several basics that I needed to stock up on like my curly hair shampoo and good deodorant.

I also got two VERY good pairs of shoes, a fabulous purse (details below cut) and colorful socks!

( Pictures in here! )
And last but not least the most amazing purse in the world.  I don't have a picture yet, because they didn't have the red in stock.  We paid for it and I will get a call (likely on Monday) when it is in to go pick it up!  I will post a real photo when I have it.
Check out the awesome security features on this thing!  Slash-proof lining, steel cord in the strap, and a clip to secure the zipper.  The strap also will loop around a stationary object to keep the purse safe when I am at a resaurant or on a train or some such place.  I am in LOVE with this thing!!!  I really didn't want to have to wear a money belt, and with this purse I don't have to.  Yay!


In other news, I got a message back from the guy on India Mike I had been talking to, and had to tell him that I couldn't meet him right when I got to the country.  He said, "no issues what so ever, i want want your stay in hyd to be comfortable, for the rest count on me, iam sure we can correspond in any way you wish, shoot me a one liner for anything".  I think this is super-nice of him.  My good friend Heather mentionned that it might be a good idea to ask to meet his whole family (wife and 2 year old girl) when I meet him in person, and I think that is a great idea.  For now though, I am just focusing on getting there and feeling my way into the culture.

Next on the list:  Scrounge together every cent I can find to pay for Student Visa.

Oh yeah!  If anyone is interested, my birthday is coming up on July 2nd.  There are still just a couple of things on my list that would be great for my trip :D :D :D. ( click here to see my travel wish list )

Departure - 49 Days

I am so obsessed with getting ready for India, it is all-consuming.  Poor Katie.  I spend way too much of my time lately scouring forums for new information or tips I haven't heard yet.  I am going to put it down today and get some other things done :) ... at least until she goes to work.

But she is sill asleep right now.  :D

Two things are on my mind today.  One is a regular request I make.  I am thinking that I will need books for the plane, and maybe an extra one I can sneak my nose into before the actual trip.  One friend has offered to loan me Holy Cow (yay!) so that will be good for sneaking into before the trip and returning before I leave.

I am wondering what books to get?  Books I like are fantasy novels like those by Anne Bishop, really fun (but well written) girly novels like the Shopaholic series, and also all consuming non-fiction like Eat, Pray, Love and Memiors of a Geisha (okay, that last one is fiction, but you'd never know if no one told you).

On my list of books to get for sure is:  The Other Boleyn Girl
On my list of maybes is:  Catch-22

I'd like to go with a small variety of books for my travel time.  Something pretty and serious, something silly or easy, and something fantastically consuming.  Any recommendations are very appreciated!

Second on my mind today...
When I talk on the India Mike forums, everyone is really, really helpful.  It is a part of their culture to be so helpful.  They are very (very) curious about foreigners.  In India, I have read in many places that it is not uncommon to meet someone on the street and be invited to their wedding next week -- and that you should go!  People are invited to other people's homes all the time, when they met them only just that day.  This is just the way it is.  You are the honored guest, and honoring them with your presence.  All the guides I have read tell me to take advantage of these opportunities for a real home cooked Indian meal, or to experience Indian hospitality.  There are pages and pages about how these people will go far out of their way to accommodate you, so much that you must be a bit careful about what you request, because it will likely be done even if it causes great efforts.
So, with that in mind, here is my minor dilemma.  A couple of times already, some one (male) from India Mike will attempt to make plans with me while I am in Hyderabad!  Most recently, one very helpful person (who mentioned he is married with a two year old daughter), has given me advice about what kind of clothes to bring (be sure to pack a rain coat because it will likely be raining when I get there).  He has also, most graciously, offered to be my own guide.  Here are his words, "shoot anything my way if you have any questions, iam officially your guide in hyderabad, payment terms can be discussed later, just kidding, hope to see you when you are here". 
Now, everyone on this forum has a great sense of humor, so I do believe that he means it that he is kidding.  All of his help and offers are as genuine as can be.  I am reletivly sure that it would be perfectly safe to meet up with this person when I get to Hyderabad.  I am not going to.  Despite all I have learned about Indian culture and how common these sorts of interactions are, I have a deep-set waryness of random people, especially males, from the internet.
It seems to me, that it doesn't matter how friendly a culture is, and how common it is to be invited over, and how very often it is that that invitation is exactly as innoccous as it sounds.  It just isn't safe.  I hate to turn down such great offers, but I have to.  Maybe when I get there find a circle of friends, and have a comfort level inthe country, maybe then I will feel safe bringing a friend to meet someone at a wellknown place close to my home.  For now though, I just feel bad that this likely genuine person has to be put off.
He's asked when I get to Hyderabad, and though I am so sure he really just wants to help, I suppose I have to explain to him my concerns.  I am pretty sure he will understand, he has been on this forum for a long time and is probably used to western wariness.  

I suppose it just makes me sad that this is the way the world is.  In order to protect ourselves we have to remain completely suspect of so many people.  Even those who would offer real help and assistance, we can never be too sure.

50 Days to departure

50 days sounds like a lot more than "less than two months".

Everything is in order!!! Yesterday I had my medical "exam" (which required only a conversation and filling out a form with my doctor, no actual exam at all). I also got my financial aid shifted so that all of my loans come in in the Fall, and the paperwork filed for that so that AIFS (American Institute for Foreign Study) knows when they will be paid.

OMG OMG OMG. I am really going. Everything is set. The school has all their paperwork, AIFS has all their needed info. I just need my Visa and I am ready to step on a plane. Even the money has worked out beautifully.

My next big task is lots of SHOPPING. Here  is a list of things that I need/want for my trip. I am going with my mom this weekend to get hopefully a large amount of the items on this list (especially the toiletries, shoes, and a raincoat).

So here is a breakdown of my trip:
I am going through the program AIFS, American Institute for Foreign Study.  No, I don't know anyone else who is going.  No, I don't think this is odd.
I will be departing the country on July 18th, and likely leaving Colorado July 17th.
I will be living in Hyderabad and going to the University there.  I will be taking four classes for a total of 15 credits:

• Contemporary India (transferring home as Senior Experience)
• Islamic Culture (transferring home as multi-cultural credit)
• KuchiPudi Dance (tranfering home to replace Adventure Tourism)
• Conversational Hindi (transfers as foreign language credit

While in Hyderabad, I will be staying in an International Dorm, so there ought to be western style toilets!  Yay!

Here is a biggie -- MONSOON SEASON!  It will be Monsoon season until about October.  I hate humidity, and I live in Colorado.  This will be both a challange and quite an experience for me.  Right now, I am looking forward to it.  I anticipate hateing it, but I am excited to experience it.

In the beginning of December, included in the cost of the program, I will be taking a trip to Dehli to see the Taj Mahal and other awesome sites.
I will return to the great US around December 7th.


I have been researching like mad, reading everything on the India Mike forums, and making as many contacts as I can.  There are a lot of people on those forums who seem very open to showing me around, and asking me over for dinner.  I am pretty sure this is a part of the Indian culture and general curiosity towards foreigners ... but also quite wary of trusting random men I meet on the internet.  I take their advice, because that is always sound, but try to dodge around the invites for dinner and going out at the moment.

I am trying to learn as much as I can about India before I go.  My new friend Preethi (whom I met in my accounting class this past semester) has been just awesome, and has offered me to stay with her brother in Chennai for a weekend so that I can attend her cousin's wedding!

I have found a few news sites to follow, and I know, I never follow news.  But when you live in a country you tend to absorb the important information as if my osmosis.  I don't want to get to Hyderabad and know absolutly nothing about what is going on.  I am doing everything I can to be an informed traveller, not a stupid tourist.

Except all the inner bounceing I am doing.  OMG SO EXCITED I AM GOING TO INDIA OMG!!!

I am officially ecstatic about India. It feels so real. I am going in less than TWO MONTHS (OMG!!!)

I want to make a journal (probably here on LJ, or maybe on blogger or something? I don't know...) that is just about India. About getting ready to go (what I am packing, where I am researching, when I start to get nervous, etc) and of course to track my thoughts while I am there. I want to make it separate from this journal so it is easy to share with people later on, and so that I can send the link to friends and family so they can watch my journal as well.

SO .. I can't do nifty polls, so please just let me know what you think in comments.
I was thinking of a couple LJ names for this journal, and I would like your opinion!

1. Alison_in_India (idea stolen from Julie_in_Japan)
2. Hyderabad_Babe (I just think this is funny...)
3. Alisons_Wonderland (an attempted take off from Alice in)
4. Other? _________
5. Scratch the whole new journal idea and just use a set of tags for India posts.

Thanks for your thoughts!

I have this crazy desire to "lead" sometimes. To do something, to make change, to excite passion ... to make use of my knowledge and talents, turn those into something concrete and tangible. Usually the outlet I find for this is sorority, and that has been great recently. Now that I am going to India and going to be on limited status ... it is really hard to let go. I feel like I want to sit down with each and every one of my sisters and mentor them on the ways of Phi Sig. I am only now realizing what a loss it might be to the chapter to operate on such small numbers, with such new members, and losing the last of the founding members of the chapter.

I think I had a point when I started writing here. I think I just want to write because I haven't in so long. I have been completely wrapped up in my own crap that has been going on these past few months that I have made little to no room for anything else. I am so glad it is all over, that I made it out with my sanity intact, and maybe now I can start to reconnect again.

I still want to find my divine. I didn't even find time for that endeavor recently, all efforts were placed somewhere else. Maybe I can start there again ... but at the moment I am not sure where to start.

Soo ... apparently I fail so hard that I can't even keep water in a glass??? I spilt water at Dayl's FOUR times this evening. Four. Ridiculous.

Lets take a quick short-list of what has been going on lately so that maybe I can understand my reactions a little bit better.

1. This semester has some of the hardest classes I have taken. On top of some of them being hard to begin with, there is little to no guidance or teaching in class to help any student find their way through.

2. Anxiety has sky-rocketed. I was crippled for the first few months of the year because of it. I now have a med that regulates my adrenaline, which helps. Still need to seek help for the purpose of not being medicated. Anxiety seems to have turned into extreme sensations of vulnerability while on meds during a would-be panic attack.

3. No one close to me has ever died before, and I had my first experience with it just two weeks ago. I cried and mourned my grandpa. Due to the open casket I can't stand the sight of a dead person portrayed in any fashion. I now cry for my Dad, because he is so like my Grandpa, and he hurts so much. I can't possibly stand the thought of losing my Dad, he is my hero and my rock.

4. Due to so much trouble with anxiety, hard classes, and dealing with a death in the family, I am insanely behind in my very hard schoolwork. Motivation is at an all time low and I want to take the easy way out and just stop. Start over. Try again later. I don't want to do this now.

5. As mentioned in previous post, my car got towed today. Towed despite the fact that I did all the right things to now have it towed. Apparently the GM of my apartment complex really doesn't give a hoot about her property, because she was completely out of reach today. No car for me.

Today is my Mom's birthday, and I bought her lunch at Panzano (she came to pick me up). It was good, but I had such trouble being happy to celebrate her birthday. I think she enjoyed my company anyway -- she would always rather me be real with her and I love her desperately for that.


EDIT:

OH YEAH.

I forgot to add that my paypal account got hacked so I am missing $900 ... and shortly after that I lost my debit card. I now have a new debit card but still no $900 ... that portion is still pending.

My car got towed today.

A couple weeks ago I got a sticker saying they would two my car in three days if I didn't get my tags updated (my response .... they are expired? SHIT! Why didn't I get that thing in the mail like I always do...?). So I rush to the DMV ... only to find I need an emissions test. Shit ... I don't have time for that. I call the apartment complex and they give me another two weeks. Good stuff.

That weekend was my sister's white coat ceremony, the following Monday my grandpa died ... and life is just now starting to attempt to get back on track. Trying to catch up with a mountain of homework -- 80% of which I don't understand because I either just plain don't get accounting, or my teacher sucks at teaching and everyone is completely hopelessly lost. I call the apartment complex again and they give me until the end of this week. It's all about communication, right?

And this morning I go to head out to get my mom a birthday present (we are having birthday lunch today), and my car is gone. Gone gone gone. Very very gone. I call the police and they inform me that it has been towed. I call the two company and they say it needs new plates before I can get it out, and I can't get new plates without an emissions test, and I can't get an emissions test with my car in an impound lot. And besides the rest -- the car wasn't supposed to be towed in the first place!

So I show up as soon as the office opens today, and of course the GM isn't there. So now I am waiting for the guy who IS there to get in contact with the GM so that I can tell her to get my car back here.

There is always one more thing, right? I want to give up and just start over next year, please.